Find out the truth.
Think of how many people have been wrongfully convicted of a crime they didn’t commit, only for it be overturned years later by DNA evidence. There was always some doubt, but there wasn’t anything available for them to show their innocence. Now think about all the men who may have raised the Milkman’s or the Mailman’s baby and couldn’t prove it. Now with DNA testing, there never has to be that doubt again.
Back in the day, when men found out that their girlfriend or spouse was pregnant, most of the time he had to accept the fact that the kid was his and he had to take care of it. Sometimes there was that seed of doubt in him, but he couldn’t prove anything. People told him the baby “looked just like him”, but he didn’t buy it. Years later after he has taken care and raised the child, he found out that is wasn’t his. This scenario even happens today, but it doesn’t have to. There is DNA testing now so I’d advise any man, single or married, to get a DNA test for all of their children no matter how sure you are.
Women, this is NOT a trust issue. It not even about how you feel. If you get upset that a man wants to be responsible and sure, then you need to look in the mirror at yourself. It is about protection from years of issues and heartbreak. Especially, if there has been a history of infidelity on either side. A man should have the right to know if the child is his or not.
Most people will tell a man that after all those years, even though he wasn’t the father, that he should stay in the child’s life because he is the only father the kid has known. While that is noble, it is bull. Whatever decision he makes, whether he decides to stay or go, should be fine for everyone. He is not obligated to stay no matter how old the child is, and he isn’t less of a man if he decides not to. He should have had the right to make a decision in the beginning, and since he wasn’t given full disclosure, the DNA test will afford him that opportunity.
Men, don’t be scared to ask either. She can get mad, scream, even as the question, “why you don’t trust me.” Don’t cave in to the emotion. You must look out for self, even if it puts your relationship in jeopardy. You can’t get child support back and you don’t have to “suck it up” either. You’ll be glad knowing the truth sooner instead of years and thousands of dollars later.
