The dating game can be work for both women and men but when you add extra baggage shouldn’t a person be able to choose if he or she wants to deal with it.
An interesting topic came up on a social networking site. A woman said she was talking to guy that said he doesn’t date women with kids. Of course, there was an uproar and comments were flying.
“I would have cut him…a new asshole,” one participant wrote. Another said, “But his first flaw is he don’t do women with kids!”
So, because he doesn’t date women with kids that’s a mistake and he is an ass? I’m not taking sides on this issue for I have dated women with kids and I have not experienced any issues, where I would say never again. But there are some guys out of their own principle that will refuse to date a woman with children.
Top reasons why men may say “NO” to women with kids.
- Baby daddy issues: Last thing a guy wants to hear from his significant other is the argument that she had between the baby’s father regarding anything from when the child is being picked up to that court date for child support. Then the guy feels he is in the middle of a war that he has no control of unless he leaves.
- Kids are bad: People do not like bad children. Especially someone else’s that you cannot discipline. You see your girlfriend’s kid doing something that they should not be doing, the girlfriend is occupied doing something else so the child continues to do what they should not be doing. You’re not the father, you can’t tell the child no, it’s not your place, however they are in your line of sight, so you act like a kid and tell your girlfriend that Jr. is playing with a cord. You may have to tell her five times before she checks the issue.
- You’re not his father: Boyfriend takes girlfriends child to baseball games, the park, teaches him how to play baseball, shoot a hoop or helps with a school project….but when the child does something wrong mom steps in and tells the boyfriend, “You’re not his dad.” I had this conversation with a friend regarding this. The boy’s father was incarcerated so the boyfriend assumed the role of the father, he treated the child like his own, but the child got in trouble at school one day and the fill-in father wanted to discipline the child (take away cell phone, computer, TV, etc) the mother flat out told him that he had no right and that he is not the father. So fill-in dad is good enough to teach the child how to shoot free throws but not punish the child for inappropriate behavior?
- Do you remember what Ving Rhames said to Tyrese in the John Singleton movie Baby Boy? “You know what your problem is, baby boy?” said Rhames’ character Melvin to Tyrese’s character Jody. “You got shit all twisted. You got an Oedipus complex. You want your mamma to be your woman, but this is my woman.” To make things simple, Jody had a complex and took on an attitude that no man could have his mother but him. Too many times a child (with the help of the mother) plays the role of that he doesn’t want a man near his mom and will disrespect that man. That goes with the constant excuses that women give for their children’s disrespect. The old, “Oh, he has to warm up to you.” Or the, “He’s just being protective.” Times have changed. When you were younger and if your mother mom had a date or if a gentleman caller came to the house you treated that elder with respect and go on about your business. Nowadays kids run the household and dictate who can visit their mothers.
So with that being said, before you judge a man who doesn’t date a woman with kids I guarantee you one of these bullet points will be the reason.
