I recently watched this video entitled “Baby Mamas Anonymous,” and like with most YouTube rants, experienced the shock value that was intended. Let me start by saying that I respect this young woman, and her opinion. I believe her approach was well-crafted and creative, but she is the perfect example of someone having great intentions, but giving bogus advice.
I get it, the latest craze is Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, change yourself completely so that you can get a man, don’t be yourself or you won’t get a man…and finally you have to be absolutely perfect if you are a single mother, or you can’t get a man. Relationship advice is to be taken as just that advice. But always consider the source. Every woman raising a child, without the help of their father, cannot be confused as a single mother. A real single mother makes her children a priority, and doesn’t have time to even consider going through a boot camp or a program, so to speak, to meet a man. While the right man is welcomed, a single mother’s focus is her children.
She had some clever points, and I am not going to dissect the founding principles of the Baby Mamas Anonymous, you can view the video yourself. I will say that while neither of us are able to speak for “most” men, I can attest that most of the accomplished single men that I know, have no qualms about dating women with children, and rightfully so. Every single mother isn’t raising Bebe’s kids. Children are innocent and love unconditionally. Many men were raised by single mothers themselves and take pride in having an opportunity to positively influence a child regardless of their DNA. A single mother shouldn’t have to work hard to perfect herself to attract a man. She should work double time not to fall for the wiles of the kind of man that doesn’t share this outlook.
As a single mother, I am too busy loving and providing a life for my children to have ever considered them a set back, added baggage or a product of a bad judgment call. In fact, it has been just the opposite. I have been too busy working hard and making my children a priority to realize that my stock has dropped or that my personal net worth has gone down, according to this video.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again there isn’t a woman on earth that isn’t one tragedy or clever mistress away from being a single mother. The champions are the ones that, despite the challenges, take care of their responsibilities day in and day out. To a worthy man, this isn’t something to fear or shy away from. Being a good and responsible single mother is a badge of honor, one you can’t earn if you are constantly thinking about getting a man. This mindset can be detrimental to young children. The strong desire to have a man can cause a woman to settle for just any man, whether he is good for her children or not. Children are only young for a short period of time, so it is only right to keep them first. For this reason, I have a one-step program that can be validated by any single-mom turned wife. Be the best you, focus on your children and the right man will find you. It is as simple as that.
